these past days, I went astray.
I thought I could live without God, I thought I could live selfishly, just thinking of myself, with material things, money and my desires. I fought against my spirit, making myself rebel and my heart turn to stone. I thought living in the world can make me happy. to finally get that freedom my worldly friends are living in, freedom to do what my flesh desires without intervening my plans. I became a slave to my flesh.
I started doing the things I swore I would never do again. I ate up my vomit and at the end of the day I would feel disgusted with myself. I made friends on the internet, I thought they we’re all I needed to live a happy,normal life. I did everything to feel complete and happy. I pushed God aside though He spoke to my heart all the time. My spirit pushed me to do my devotions , convicting me of what i’m doing. but pride clouded my heart. I thought I can never go back. I even lost the desire to go back to God.I never neglected God this way in my life. my spirit cries. thirsting for something I know only God can give. But I continue to turn away, trying to find some substitute . 2 weeks of wasted time, I thought I was free and happy. I forced myself to be but I knew deep inside that I was just fooling myself, that I felt empty and completely purposeless. and now as I am writing this down, God continues to talk to me. despite everything I have done, His love still prevails. He would have just left me when i detached myself from Him, but He never left me despite the Pain i have put Him through, something He does not deserve. He’s telling me that it’s not too late late to turn back. to come running to His open arms like the prodigal son. He still held me close through it all, protecting and loving me. No matter how many times I tried to break free from Him, He still held on to me. He never gave up on me, what rights do I have to give up on Him?
and now that I have experienced how much this world is so empty, I decided to come back to the true source of fulfillment. to my first love..JESUS.
my heart is being torn apart by the pride within me and the yearning of my spirit. But, I have to turn back before everything is lost and it’s too late. it can be embarrassing to come back after acting to foolishly, but what’s more embarrassing is to not stand up at all. I wont end this night until i get to taste God’s presence and quench my dying soul, until He shows me my identity again and to be burned by His fire..
I may not know who you are yet or what you look like, but one thing is for sure, I wanna grow old with you with Jesus in the center of our universe.
I want to lie under the moonlight, just enjoying each other.
I want to get our multitudes and worship the God of the universe together and float in HIS presence. i want to hold your hands and hug you like there’s no more tomorrow. I want to share our first kiss on the altar in the site of our Almighty Father and have the most memorable night as we become one in spirit. I want to wake up with you beside me,your smile, being the sun that shines and awakens my soul, giving energy and enthusiasm to start yet, another day with my beloved. I want us to be there for each other during the most joyful and sorrowful moments of our lives. caring, comforting, laughing and crying together. I want to fight and win this warfare with you as my side kick and God as our ultimate tag team. I want to cuddle with you and feel your warm breathe blow on my face as we exchange vows of ever lasting love.
but for now. I’ll be patiently waiting for God’s perfect timing. and when that time comes that you will ask my hand from my father, you must promise me that above all, you must love God more than me.
because without Him, there won’t be “us”.
it’s ouwie’s 16th birthday and he brougth cake with him, a tradition.
we all grabbed a slice like it was the last,existing cake on the planet.
then something magical happened..
cake and icing began to fly and landed on everyone’s face and hair.
the epic food fight began..
me and a friend sat in a corner, trying to make ourselves invisible from the cake-smearing people.
but we weren’t safe. this girl in glasses smeared a bit of icing on my cheek and bangs.
and that’s the time I had to think fast to avoid getting smudged even worse.
I hid under the food table. (thank God for being tiny) and I managed to enjoy my cake without worries while watching the others scream and avenging themselves.
when it was over and all was safe and messy, everyone was drenched in a disgusting smudge of icing,cake and sauce.they all darted to the comfort room to wash up..I finally went out from the table …
like a boss. B-)
im the only decent lookin’ person and i survived (oyeaaaaa).
rhema: when everything is in chaos and your beginning to be afraid. don’t be.
hide under the sturdy “table” of protection of Christ and while everything is goin crazy around you, enjoy God’s presence,trust and stand firm. in the end, you wont regret and you’ll be walkin around there like a boss sayin ” Imma survivor and I overcome d”
When I’m singing to God & I know he’s smiling
When I realize nothing is impossible for him
When I’m in his presence
When I think about Jesus coming
When some of you think this post is crazy & you don’t want to experience all of this
